Bunny Killer

I can’t believe it’s already the end of June. Spring is over. Summer is here. And yet, I haven’t told you about my springtime murderous rampage yet. At first I wasn’t ready to talk about it, but now enough time has passed I’m ready to talk about it.

I killed a bunny.

A baby bunny.

Now, before you call me Mr. McGregor (the harshest of all Beatrix Potter related slams), please know that it was an act of mercy. Wrigley got a rabbit.

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She brought it to the back porch to show me. She was very proud of herself. She put it in front of the door mat for me to admire. She broke its back. I was horrified.

Now this was back in the spring when Audrey had swim lessons. I had just let Wrigley out, which is one of the last things I do before I leave the house. She goes out, we put on shoes and grab giraffe and camel, and then she comes back in and goes to her kennel. A mortally wounded rabbit was not part of my morning timeline.

I had 5 minutes before we had to leave the house to deal with the situation. We go out the back door to get to the car. I didn’t want the kids to know about the dead rabbit. I had to deal with the bunny quickly. I also had to disguise my feelings on the matter, because I wanted to cry but I didn’t want the kids to know I was upset.

I let Wrigley inside and popped my head in the door to tell the kids I would be right there. Then I put on my game face and went to get a shovel. I dug out a garden shovel, went to the porch, and told the bunny it would all be better soon. I don’t know if the bunny was comforted, but I was not.

I poked my head in the house again to make sure the kids were OK. I told them I was going to check on something and then be right back in. Then I stood over the rabbit and tried to decide how hard I had to hit it. I wanted to end its pain. I didn’t want to smack it and make it hurt more. I also didn’t want to deal with rabbit spatter on my back porch. In the end I decided on a firm tap.

It did the job. I cleaned up. I went back in the house and smiled at my kids and pretended I didn’t want to cry.

We made it to swim lessons on time

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