I turned 40 on Sunday. That makes me much older than the average Mom of a baby and toddler, but I really like it that. It works great for us.
Five reasons I’m happy I’m an older mom.
Hand Me Down Clothes
We get so many hand me downs! I get to buy whatever I want for Elliot because I have a cousin who sends me amazing hand me downs for him. I also get them from some friends here in Des Moines. He is a very well dressed little guy. I would love to prove this to you, but I only take pictures of him when he is wearing pajamas or is in the high chair.
Audrey also benefits from hand me downs, but not quite as much as Elliot does.
Advice
My friends have older kids. They’ve been through the toddler years before. They only offer advice when asked, and the advice they have given has helped me through some tough times.
Hands down the best I was given from my sister. She told me about this book. I credit this book with my kids being excellent sleepers.
Hand Me Down Books
Audrey is a reader. She has been since she was very little. We go to the library, but not as often as I would like. Several times I have had friends bring over bags of old books that their kids have grown out of. Audrey devours the book, and I’m very happy to read something new. I love that she will now sit through a picture book. I was getting sick of reading board books over and over again.
Babysitters!
My friends that are missing the toddler years are willing to babysit. We have only had to pay for a babysitter once, which is amazing. One of my friends even took the kids overnight for us. It was glorious.
I No Longer Give A Damn About Your Opinion
I think it would have been harder to have kids when I was in my 20s or early 30s. I didn’t have the confidence that I have now.
Having to use formula would have been even harder. I wanted to breastfeed, but it didn’t work for us. In my 20s if someone had told me that nursing is better I would have said nothing, then gone home and cried. Now if someone tells me that breast is best I will shut them down. You know what is best for the family? A fed baby. A mom that isn’t depressed. You disagree? Fuck you.
I’ve been shamed for sleep training before. Well, the mom tried to shame me. As if. Sleep training is the bomb. Well rested kids are happy kids. My kids sleep through the night and nap well. They go to bed early, which means John doesn’t see them much during the week, but when he sees them they are happy. If I had been shamed for sleep training in my 20s I would have felt guilty and questioned my choices, but because the “shaming” happened in my late 30s I just smiled at her and laughed at it with John later.
I love being a mom. I’m sure I would have loved it in my 20s, but it didn’t work out that way for us. Luckily there are a lot of positive things that I get to experience because I was so old when I had my kids.
Every Friday I share 5 things I think you should know about. Do you have anything you want to hear about? Are you an older mom? What do you like about it?
mildlygranola 
I’ve just read your blog, SJ! This post speaks to me like you wouldn’t believe! Great blog post!
Being an older mum is fabulous. I’m 40 with a 5yo and a 2yo (and I’m not opposed to one more). We are financially better off than we would have been if we were younger parents, we’ve explored the world before having children, and look forward to doing that again with our kids in tow.
We parent the way we see best, not the way some random person thinks we should. We simply don’t care what others think. That said, advice is welcome, but we may or may not take it on board, and we certainly won’t lose any sleep over it. We’ve been around the block a few times and are confident in our decisions (even when we get it wrong – you learn and get on with it rather than overthinking it).
We’ve been given a ton of hand-me-downs, as like you, we are the last of our friend group to have kids. In fact, my friends kids are reaching babysitting age now, so it’s going to be awesome soon!
I’m also considering not returning to work after having six years of Parental Leave to be with my kids. I don’t even feel guilty about it…just a little unsettled about giving up a permanent teaching position. I know I’m lucky that I’m older and more financial so that is even an option.
My only concern is my children possibly having grandparentless children some day. But why worry about something you can’t change, right? Besides, I’m sure I’ll linger longer just to see what my children will be like if/when they have their own families. Either that, or I’ll haunt them! 😉
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I am so glad the post resonates with you. It really is easier to be an older parent. I also worry about not being around to see my grandchildren. I had never considered haunting them before, but I love that idea.
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